Drunk Girls

There is nothing more unattractive to a male, unless your like a Stage 5 Rapist or some shit, than the, 'stumbling drunk girl'. Now we have all seen these women that do not know how to handle their alcohol. They literally STUMBLE on any guy they can, which is a huge accomplishment since they usually wear high heels. They try to dance and look almost exactly like a retard in a pool, doing squats. They will get up in your face and almost makeout with you while trying to tell you something about their stupid blind cat or some shit like that. They will talk, or stammer, about their stupid nieces and nephews and how cute of a baby the little bastard is. "And my sister was 17 when she had it!" Seriously, we don't give a FUCK. You are even past the point of us wanting you to slob on the knob. When I wake up, I like when my penis doesn't smell like Pink Lemonade Smirnoff

Guys, there are some simple steps to losing this girl;

- Walk away (They are stumbling, its hard for them to follow)
- Walk a little faster (Sometimes you may encounter what I call the, 'drunk track star stumbler'. It's like when their drunk, they don't give a shit who they run over or through. They will hurtle over dancing legs and sometimes climb on the walls)
*Warning* If you encounter the 'spider woman drunk (the one that actually does climb on walls and ceilings because she has to tell you about her mother who just never lets her do anything) There is only one hope. Get a gun, and shoot yourself. You are royally fucked.

More Aggressive Tactics
- Mace. Really.
- Try and bump someone into her. Do not actually push her yourself, that's just asking for trouble. She'll pull out a rape whistle and next thing you know your missing 4 front teeth and half your ear. Ya, Mike Tyson is roaming bouncer..
- Get in a group of friends, and create the 'Cold Shoulder' circle. This tactic usually works. Just group up shoulder to shoulder and ignore her.
- Find a black guy. Girls will totally change their target when they see a black dude. They LOVE black guys, almost as much as gay guys. They can be an African American, but to a drunk bitch? They are FROM Africa!


Learn to handle yourself Stumbling Drunk Bitch!!